Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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