I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
