Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.