Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk