i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in