I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.