Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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  (443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...

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  (734): My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party... http://tfl.nu/viwm
  Replies (11) Good night (542) Bad night (4313) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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  (972): Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight. http://tfl.nu/7ped
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (753) Bad night (6472) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me

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  (913): the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me http://tfl.nu/ze1e
  Replies (17) Good night (4057) Bad night (1107)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

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  (912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem
  Replies (18) Good night (7223) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."

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  (513): she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead." http://tfl.nu/j1dy
  Replies (34) Good night (5271) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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  (613): I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked. http://tfl.nu/z7yx
  Replies (11) Good night (6912) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

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  (435): i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down. http://tfl.nu/j1eb
  Replies (16) Good night (1133) Bad night (3223) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?

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  (317): Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text? http://tfl.nu/5hnv
  Replies (10) Good night (550) Bad night (3259) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

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  (480): You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show http://tfl.nu/lsuc
  Replies (5) Good night (2458) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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  (760): You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral. http://tfl.nu/a5j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1112) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary

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  (917): I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary http://tfl.nu/znga
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

  (1+44): View more from

  They'll never let you practice medicine.

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  (+44): Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it. (1+44): They'll never let you practice medicine. http://tfl.nu/k98f
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (221)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

  (212): View more from New York

  Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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  (908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji
  Replies (4) Good night (1091) Bad night (246)

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