the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
