he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
