You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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