at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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