Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize