You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
