Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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