So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
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You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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