I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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