I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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