It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
