What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
