Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
