I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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