yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
