i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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