Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
