I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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