Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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