Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my liver is dry heaving
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
