So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Randomize
