wrigley field is MILF paradise
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
