He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Terrible idea I love it
that may or may not have been my penis.
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