I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
