Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
