matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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