walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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