I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
