Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accomplished twins. life is a go
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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