We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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