roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize