Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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