Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he shaved USA in his pubs
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
