What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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