What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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