i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
