i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
His nipple licking is glorious
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