were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
