i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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