i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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