Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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