Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
