How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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