It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry about my life...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
