it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
