i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
