i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
