I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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