you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm too high and old for this...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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