Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
