So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
