From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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