just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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