Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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