Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
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when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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