Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize