You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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