i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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